Howie Newman
MUSIC, COMEDY and MORE
SONG LYRICS
WHEN YOU'RE HAPPY
www.howienewman.com          hjnewman@verizon.net          781-662-2616
Where is Everybody?
Everyone's on vacation, that’s why nobody's here                                        
They're scattered ’round the country, drinking wine and beer
It is not your fault, it's just the wrong time of year
Everyone’s on vacation, that’s why nobody’s here

We didn't do the mailing, that's why nobody's here
I think we were on vacation, drinking wine and beer
We asked someone to do it but we did not make it clear
We didn't do the mailing, that’s why nobody’s here

We worked and planned, oh what’s the use. All we've got is this lame excuse
But there has to be a reason, an explanation for. So let’s analyze the situation just a little more

The weather is too nice, that's why the turnout is low
People like to be outdoors, that's something we all know
A starlit night in the mountains is where they'd rather go
The weather is too nice, that's why the turnout is low

The weather's really bad, that’s why the turnout is low
It's rainy and it's cold, no one wants to see a show
Back home, it's warm and cozy. Why partake of the unknown?
The weather's really bad,  that's why the turnout is low

Holidays are approaching, that's why something's amiss
Folks need to shop and clean and cook, they don't have time for this
If a week had three more days, they might just put it on their list
Holidays are approaching, that's why something’s amiss

It's Bingo night at the Elks Club and we just forgot
There's untold riches to be had, that’s why this night is shot
You just can't compete with a thousand-dollar pot
It's Bingo night at the Elks Club and we just forgot

Everyone's on vacation, that's why nobody's here
We didn't do the mailing and the weather's warm and clear
It's Bingo night at the Elks Club and holidays are near
The weather's really bad,  that's why nobody's here
Everyone's on vacation, that's why nobody’s here     


Reality Check
Think of what you've got and what you had before. Are things quite as bad as you say?
Think of what we've done and what we mean to each other. Do you really want to throw it all away?

Life's not perfect and neither am I and no one's saying you can't dream
But I know you better than you think. Trust me, things are better than they seem

Think of us together and think of us apart. Do you really feel we’re better off that way?
Think about tomorrow, think about next year. Is it better if I go or if I stay?

Life's not simple and neither am I and no one's saying you can’t dream
But I love you more than you know. Trust me, things are better than they seem


That Old Car
The AC was busted, the body was rusted, my wife was disgusted
'Bout pourin' more money into that old car. She said it wasn't really all that smart
But it got me where I needed ’cause I never really needed to get too far

I was really fond-a that '91 Honda, long on endurance, great on insurance
You didn't have to worry ’bout banging up that old car
And nobody would steal it 'cause if they did, then they really wouldn't get too far

That old car, I really miss it. That old car,  lots of memories were in it
I taught both kids to drive, saw my honey on a Saturday night
Dragged the equipment to a couple thousand softball games in that old car

Second chorus:
Dragged the equipment to a couple hundred music shows in that old car

It wasn't really high tech, had a cassette deck, was a pain in the neck
To get going on a winter's morn. It took a while to get real warm
But it got me where I wanted 'cause I never really wanted to get too far

The mechanic said "no way," I sold it on eBay, I didn't have a say
About keepin' that old car. It just about broke my heart.
Now I got a newer Honda, but help, help me Rhonda, I’m still a bit despondent
Without that old car


It's Only Money
It’s only money, it comes and goes. It’s only money, don’t sell your soul
It makes you crazy but everyone knows: It’s only money

How many times did I drive up and down that highway? How many dollars did I earn?
What did I gain from all of that heartache? This is all I really learned

Sometimes you’ve just got to chase that foolish dream, following that distant light
Then you’ll never wonder what might have been. Who’s to say what’s wrong or right?

There are those who make millions and millions and all they ever want is more
They couldn’t spend it if they had a hundred lifetimes. Is that what living’s really for?


My Last Cup of Coffee
Gather 'round the breakfast table, children you will hear
About a midnight ride but not the one by Paul Revere
It was me and my brother and two cousins I recall
My last cup of coffee and a game of basketball

It was April 1970 when we headed out the door for a little road trip, set our sights on Baltimore
The Eastern Conference playoffs, the Bullets and the Knicks
We were teenage superfans, that’s how we got our kicks

It was my last cup of coffee, I never touched another drop
Drivin' home from Baltimore, we made a little stop. I was tired and we were lost
I broke into a sweat and drank my last cup of coffee, the one I can't forget

The Knicks won by a point or two, it was quite a show.
We saw Reed and Bradley, and Earl the Pearl Monroe
Four excited teens climbed aboard my Chevy 2 with only one licensed driver
That was you know who

I used two creams and a sugar, or was it the other way around?
I was growing weary and I quickly gulped it down
My stomach turned inside out and I began to pray
Wondrin' how people drink this stuff, each and every day


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Words and music by Howie Newman
©2012 Howie Newman, Chin Music (BMI)
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