Howie Newman
MUSIC, COMEDY and MORE
BASEBALL'S GREATEST HITS, Volume 3
Released in 2024 on Major League Records
Words and music by Howie Newman
(c) 2024 Howie Newman Chin Music (BMI)
THE BALLAD OF MIKE HESSMAN
(Minor League Home Run King)
If you mention Mike Hessman, that name might not ring a bell
But he’s a legend in his own right with a grand story to tell
He hit more home runs than any minor leaguer ever did
It took dedication, heart and soul, and a ton of grit
He just kept playing ’cause he loved it, living out his dream
Playing baseball for a living ever since he was eighteen
The years flew by just like the wind, he never lost that thirst
Becoming minor league home run king
Was a blessing and a curse
TRACKS
1. The Ballad of Mike Hessman
2. Knuckleball
3. The Other Tony C
4. 12 Perfect Innings
5. Wait Until Next Year
It started out in Macon, young Mike just had no fear
1997, he hit 21 that year. Danville, Greenville and Myrtle Beach along the way
The homers kept a-coming on the road to Triple-A
The year that Mike tuned thirty, he was still in Triple-A
Then thirty-one and thirty-two, the time just slipped away
He played in Mexico and Japan, Venezuela, too
Sixteen teams in twenty years ’til fin’lly he was through
Did Mike ever make the majors? The answer is yes
He had cups of coffee with the Braves, the Tigers and the Mets
Fourteen big-league homers, five seasons in the show
With a little luck, he might’ve stuck. I guess we’ll never know
KNUCKLEBALL
The knuckleball has got a mind of its own
You do not know where it’s going once the ball is thrown. It dances, floats and dives
Sometimes just fades away. The knuckleball remains a mystery to this very day
Thomas “Toad” Ramsey was the first to use this pitch. Hurt his hand doing mason work in 1886
So when he threw a baseball, a new grip he did explore
The ball just didn’t spin and the knuckleball was born
Many tried to throw the knuckler, few rode it to fame
Phil Niekro and brother Joe won more than 500 games
Hoyt Wilhelm, Tim Wakefield and Dutch Leonard were pretty good
So were Charlie Hough, the Candy Man and Wilbur Wood
Who’s the only knuckleballer to win the Cy Young? I must admit the answer’s kinda tricky
Well, you’re a real, dyed-in-the-wool, hardcore baseball fan if you remember R.A. Dickey
THE OTHER TONY C
July the third in ’66, baseball history in the mix
That day, the Giants played Tony Cloninger and the Braves
Tony C was on the hill. You don’t remember him? Well, now you will
It was his claim to fame. Hit two grand slams in that game
The Braves scored three to start the day. Two men on with two away. It was only the first inning
But the fun was just beginning. Dennis Menke walked to the plate, skipper Herman Franks said “Wait!
The strategy is clear: Let’s walk Menke … and pitch to Tony C.”
He took a mighty cut, hit a long fly ball. The baseball soared right over the wall
Tony C would touch ’em all on that historic day. Four runs in, just one swing
Pretty good, a beautiful thing. Once around was really nice. In that game, he did it twice
Last chorus: One grand slam was really nice. On that day, he did it twice
On to inning number four. Up by nine, the Braves got more. Torre reached, so did Bolling.
Two men out, but they were rolling. Menke walked up to the plate and Herman Franks said “Wait!
Lightning can’t strike twice. Let’s walk Menke … and pitch to Tony C.”
Now, Tony C was not quite done. His single plated one more run. On the day, nine RBIs.
A mark no pitcher would reprise. Pitching-wise, he did just fine. Struck out five and went all nine
On both sides of the ball … Tony C, he did it all
12 PERFECT INNINGS
Good ol’ Harvey Haddix pitched big league ball for 14 years. He was good but not an all-time great
One night in Milwaukee, he pitched a game for the ages but never got a chance to celebrate
12 perfect innings. 36 up, 36 down. It was, by far, absolute mastery on the mound
12 perfect innings, no batter reached first base
What happened next simply cannot erase … 12 perfect innings
Pitching for the Bucs that night, Haddix dazzled from the start
Mowed right through the lineup one by one
Nine innings, no hits but it was zero-zero so there was still work to be done
The next nine Braves walked right back to the bench. The little lefty sure was in a zone
The only problem was Milwaukee’s Lew Burdette had a shutout going of his own
Inning 13, the magic came undone. An error and a walk preceded Adcock’s home run
He passed a teammate on the bases but the winning run had crossed
And the greatest game ever pitched … wound up as a loss
WAIT UNTIL NEXT YEAR
This was the best damn team that I ever did see. It had strength up the middle, it had power and speed
Most of the season they could do no wrong but when October rolled around, it was the same old song
Wait until next year, wait until next year. Exactly what went wrong is all too clear
So near and so far, close but no cigar. It’s a long, long way ’til opening day and the winter’s getting near
Have another beer and wait until next year
We all thought it was a piece of cake, that 12-game lead at the All-Star break
But the pitching was lousy and the hitting got worse and the next thing I knew, we were out of first
The clouts of the summer became the outs of the fall. That baseball team made fools of us all
They squandered that lead and it didn’t take long, and October arrived with the same old song
SONG LYRICS